Judah Benjamin

Hello Everyone!!!

Well, one of my resolutions this year is to try and blog more consistently. I was pretty consistent (by my standards) when Kallie was a baby, and I want to be that way with two kids now, b/c I am horrible at documenting/organizing pictures etc. so this is my 'scrapbook' so to say:)

As you all know, our beautiful baby boy, Judah Benjamin joined our family on December 16th. He is one month old today! I can't believe a month has gone by already, but in other ways, it feels like he's been with us a lot longer! I think because so much has happened since he's been born (Christmas, my family has come and gone, New Year's, starting daycare again) that it feels like he should be older...not to mention that he's the size of a 3 month old:) I had a midwife appt. Thursday, and he weighs 12 lbs 7.5 oz! His 3 month sleepers are starting to get snug...I'm guessing they'll last another week:)



I want to share how this last month has been, from the 'birth story' up to having a one-month-old. It's been a pretty amazing month, so far nothing has been too hard, although sleep deprivation is just starting to catch up with me:)

The Birth Story (might be TMI for some:)

I went off of work (I run a home daycare) the last Friday in November, because my due date was Dec. 6th, and I was hoping beyond hope that I would go early, or at least on time this time:) When my due date came and went, and then two days later I had an exam with my midwife to see if we could do a 'stretch and sweep' and she told me that my cervix was COMPLETELY closed, I was devastated! I so, so badly didn't want to be induced with this labour (I was with Kallie, and it was awful). Because I had midwives, I could have gone a lot longer than last time before I would get induced, but the because of the circumstances of this pregnancy (Christmas, family coming, opening the daycare at beginning of Jan.) I didn't want to go that far overdue. I was really stressed out about trying to figure out if I would be induced or just wait. But my prayer my whole pregnancy had been that I would go into labour naturally, and although I really wanted to give God a timeline, I kept praying 'natural and whenever is YOUR timing'. So I discussed with my midwives an induction date, and we originally set one for Tues. the 15th (one week after the initial exam). The rest of that week I thought about it more and more, and b/c I had another 'stretch and sweep' scheduled for the Monday (14th) I decided to bump my induction date back to the 17th. I went in on Monday, and finally I was dilated and 50% effaced! I had a stretch and sweep that day, and then came back first thing Tuesday morning for another, more aggressive, one. I spent the day with my friend Sheena, we ran errands, hung out, and everything felt totally normal.

At around 6:30, I had my first extremely mild contraction. Lyndon, Kallie and I were all home, just spending a quiet evening together. For the next 2 1/2 hours, I kept having contractions, quite sporadic and mild. We put Kallie to bed at her normal time, and by 9:00 she was still wide awake, singing and playing in her bed. I didn't want to call Lyndon's parents to come get her right away, b/c I'd never gone into labour naturally before, and wasn't sure if we were a few hours or 24 hours away from giving birth. Just after 9:00 though, I knew my contractions were strong enough and close enough together that no matter how far the baby was away from actually being born, we'd be heading to the hospital tonight! I was SO excited that I was going into labour naturally, and so thankful to God that I had felt prompted to push back the induction date!!! So we called Lyndon's mom, she came and got Kallie, and as Kallie was leaving I had my first intense contraction! (perfect timing...a child should never see their parent going through that!) At that point my contractions started coming 3-6 minutes apart, so we paged the midwife. She told us to come into the hospital to be examined, and we got there around 10:30. She examined me, and I was already 5cm and the contractions were coming really fast (every 2-3 minutes). Between 10:30pm and 1:12 am I was in agony and went a little bit crazy:) I know it was a very fast labour, but it was awful (just like every woman's labour, I'm assuming:) The worst part was that Judah was posterior (a sunny side up baby as my midwife referred to him) which caused two things to happend: 1. I had the urge to push from about 11:00 on, but had to fight that urge b/c I wasn't ready, it was just the pressure his positioning caused and 2. From about 11:30 on, I didn't have a break between contractions. After each contraction, the pain only mildly subsided, but it still felt like I was having a contraction, which was horrible. Lyndon and I had a good laugh the next morning, because I was saying some pretty crazy things:)

For those of you who know me well, you know that I am all about natural childbirth. I want absolutely nothing to do with a c-section, epidural, or major drugs (just to be clear, I have no feelings about other people's childbirth choices, those are just my preferences). WELL...I was BEGGING for all of the above:)! Yep, even a c-section:) The midwives brought me demoral and gravol (at which point I yelled, 'WHAT IS GRAVOL SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!?' I was a real treat;), but I knew and they knew that I really didn't want demoral. I felt so sad at that point, b/c I wanted pain relief so badly, but I just kept thinking and saying, 'I don't want to drug my baby, I don't want to make my baby drowsy, etc.'. I kept coming close to throwing up, so the midwife gave me gravol intravenously. It made SUCH a difference, I can't believe it! It didn't do anything to manage the pain, but up until that point, I had been gagging, almost hyperventilating, screaming and yelling (my throat was sore and my voice hoarse the next day...it was that crazy!) and thrashing around. I was expending so much energy on all that, that everyone was afraid I wouldn't have enough energy to push the baby out. The gravol completely calmed me down, and for about the last hour, even though I was completely aware that it was just as painful, I went into kind of a trance, and just lied still and moaned. Lyndon said I became a completely different person and they couldn't even talk to me I was just so focused. I was so thankful I had midwives who knew I really didn't want drugs, respected that, and helped me move past it. Throughout my whole labour I kept apologizing to them, because I was aware of how crazy I was being, but I just couldn't stop.

When I started pushing, I got pretty hysterical again (at one point I yelled at my midwife, 'GET HIM OUT NOW!!! IF YOU CAN SEE HIS HEAD, JUST REACH IN AND PULL HIM OUT!!!):). And I must have moved around quite a bit, because I also smoked Lyndon in the face (he was forgiving;) AND accidentally ripped my IV out...not a pretty site! But thankfully, I only had to push through about 6 contractions, and he was here;)!!!



It was THE BEST FEELING ever to know that I finally had my sweet baby boy, was not pregnant anymore, and labour was over!!! Lyndon's mom came to the hospital and gave Judah his first bath (she's a maternal/newborn nurse, and was able to do the same with Kallie), and she and Lyndon left around 3:30. I tried to get some sleep (not easy after labour, especially when you just want to snuggle your little baby:), and then Lyndon came back around 9am. We were hoping to leave right away, but the midwife ended up in a labour, so we finally got discharged at around 1pm. 12 hours after giving birth, we were home and settled in (one of the many amazing things about having a midwife!) Lyndon was so, so sweet, and just kept telling everyone how amazing I did:) I felt pretty embarrassed about how I had acted, and finally said to him I thought it was nice that he was making me sound better than I actually was. He turned to me and said, 'You pushed out an over 10 lb. posterior baby completely naturally...you really did do amazing!' It was so nice to hear:) He was completely lucid and had to deal with my craziness, and was still proud of me, I love my husband:)

This past month has been a whirlwind! Kallie came home from Oma and Opa's that same afternoon, and was SO SO excited to meet her baby brother! She definitely knew that she was coming home to the baby being OUT of mommy's belly, and it was one of the best moments of my life seeing the two of them together for the first time, and seeing how thrilled she was:) That has continued ever since, the highlight of her day is seeing Judah, spending time with him, and giving him hugs and kisses:) She always tells him she loves him, and helps mommy with him lots!:) There are definite pros and cons to all different age gaps between siblings, and her awareness level and interaction with Judah is definitely a pro for the age gap we have (not to mention mommy's sanity...this is just the right amount of time apart for ME:)!



We had a great week at home as a family, and then my parents and sister arrived to celebrate Christmas with us! It was SO SO wonderful having them all here and they just loved seeing Kallie and Judah. It was nice that Kallie had so much attention over the holidays (from both sets of grandparents and her auntie) while we were just settling in with Judah. He was so big when he was born, he nursed all the time for the first couple of weeks, which was a bit hard on Kallie. So to have my family here was a huge help! And of course, my parents did so much around the house and took care of us really well!

I started daycare again on January 4th, and so far, it's been great! I had help every day the first week, which was completely necessary and I don't know what I would've done otherwise! This week I had a bit less help (it'll keep decreasing over the next couple of weeks) and I really am doing ok:) Judah is sleeping lots during the day, and I have really great kids (who are all Kallie's age or older) so that makes things pretty easy.

Judah is such a wonderful little baby:) He's a great eater (obviously) and has made nursing really easy. He's sleeping a lot, but whenever he is awake, he's completely content. He started smiling about a week ago, and it's so much fun! He's really smiley, and has started cooing and making the cutest little noises when he smiles with a big open mouth:) I love having a little boy:) He's a very touchy baby, and LOVES to be snuggled all the time. He's very alert and aware, and will crane his neck and move his eyes in the direction he hears noise coming from. He loves to look at light, and will fight sleep like crazy if there's light to look at:)

Lyndon and I both love being parents so much, and it's just so incredible to have two kids now, and one of each! It definitely feels different this time around, but I'm not sure if it's because I have a boy, or it's because he's my second child. One thing I'm finding is that it's way easier this time! I didn't really have a hard time with Kallie, but at around 4-5 weeks with her I still wasn't going out or doing much, but with Judah, I went Boxing Day shopping (for the first time in my life!) when he was 10 days old:) And I've started going to the gym already, and also started Weight Watchers (lots of baby weight to lose this time!). I especially love being out and about with both my little munchkins, I'm such a proud mama:)!

Thanks so much for everyone's support and congratulations...my pregnancy is finally over, and it was more than worth it!!! I already know I want another one:) Just not right away...;)

Still No Pictures...

But an update, nonetheless! We still haven't gotten our computer fixed, so I have no idea when I'll be able to post some pictures! We'll be taking lots this weekend (Thanksgiving) and I might have access to another computer I can put them up on, so hopefully it won't be too much longer:)

I don't feel like anything terribly new or exciting is happening around the Wagenaar household these days. These last couple of weeks we've all been able to slow down, and have had quite a few relaxing evenings at home together, enjoying our wonderful wood fireplace:) I absolutely love this time of year, when the weather is cooling (but still tolerable;), the leaves are changing, and there's that wonderful 'autumn smell' in the air. I feel so blessed and filled with joy when Lyndon, Kallie and I are all cozied in for the night, just spending time together, with the fire blazing:)

I'm now 7 months pregnant! In some ways, I can't believe I'm so far along, it feels like time has flown. But there are times (that are getting closer and closer together) that I feel like I should be at the 9 month mark!:) I know these last couple of months will fly by, we have lots to get done around the house including renovating our basement, tiling our front entrance, and putting the nursery together! Plus, one of my best friends, Kat, is coming to visit us in November. Lots of things to look forward to and keep us busy until December rolls around:) Our baby is so incredibly active, I find it unbelievable how much movement is going on, CONSTANTLY! And I've got lots of energy and have been feeling pretty good lately, so I guess my 3rd trimester is my best:) I'm thankful I feel like I can truly enjoy my pregnancy for at least part of it:) Kallie loves her little sibling, she's always kissing and hugging my belly, and talking about what she'll do with 'her' baby once they arrive:) Lyndon and I are really looking forward to seeing Kallie in the role of big sister:)

Lyndon and I went away two weeks ago for an 'adults only' weekend;) His parents took Kallie from Thursday to Sunday, and we went with friends down to Milwaukee for a concert (which was amazing!) and some R&R:) We'd both been so busy for the month leading up to the trip, that it was really an incredible time to reconnect and nurture our marriage. We felt so refreshed and content afterwards, I'm so thankful we went. And so thankful for Oma and Opa, who showed Kallie such a great time that she didn't even mention us ONCE the entire time we were gone;)

We're spending Thanksgiving with my family this weekend, which we're all really looking forward to! And I get to see some of my closest friends which is always great:) Kallie's so excited to see Grandma, Grandpa, and Auntie Dana, she's been telling everybody about it all week:)

Hope you all enjoy a Happy Thanksgiving Weekend!!!

Giving Birth...

So last week I posted a status on FB that got all sorts of comments:) I didn't mean for it to become so secretive, but we've been looking into different birthing options, and until we had more information and had talked to our families, I didn't want to say too much.

SO...the big consideration right now, is home birth! A couple of you guessed it right away (because you're home birthers yourselves, or pretty darn close;) The reason we're looking into it, primarily, is because I was really unhappy with the way my hospital birth with Kallie went (induction, immobility, rude medical personnel, etc.). A couple of weeks ago I watched some home birthing videos on You Tube and was in awe of how beautiful it was to see women labouring and giving birth in their most comfortable surroundings. Obviously birth is just as awe-inspiring in a hospital, it doesn't matter where a baby is born, but after I saw those videos, I felt a strong yearning for the same experience. I also have a few friends who have had home births, and they had amazing experiences.

Lyndon is much more wary of the whole idea, so I had a very in-depth discussion with one of my midwives on Tues. about it, and got some great information. For those of you who don't know much about home birth (like me before last week!) and think that the 'midwife shows up with a kitchen fork to deliver your baby' (thanks Natalie for that perspective;), I was quite surprised to find out how medically prepared a home birth is. And that statistically, the risks of a hospital birth vs. a home birth are the SAME in AMOUNT, but different in NATURE. I have done lots of research, and as far as risks go, with a normal, healthy pregnancy (which you're already screened as, as a midwife client) there isn't a lot to worry about. It would take too long to write down everything I've learned in the last week, but it is very fascinating:)

At this point, we don't know what we're going to do. One of the things I love most about having a midwife is the empowerment. Ultimately, the decision is ours, and there's no rush to set things in stone. We could decide on a home birth and then an hour into labour change our minds, and that's absolutely fine. What's most important to me is being able to labour at home, in a comfortable setting and comfortable clothing, for as long as possible. I think we might do that and then go to the hospital for the actual birth. The midwife suggested if that is our choice, to have everything set up at home for the possibility of birth, just in case things progress faster than we thought. We have support from our families and friends as far as doing what we think is best for our family, which is a huge blessing:)

I also realize that with a midwife this time, a hospital birth would be a completely different experience than last time. This is encouraging, I know that either way it will be a positive experience. Right now we're weighing our options, occasionally discussing it, and praying about it. Ultimately, I know we'll find the best fit for both of us, and will welcome our beautiful baby into this world in the setting we choose:)

I've gotten really great information and advice (thanks again, Natalie:) and would love to hear any other experiences or thoughts on the topic. And as a disclaimer...if we do birth at home, Kallie will not be in the house, and definitely NOT witnessing the birth of her sibling:) I have no desire to subject my toddler to something that traumatic!!!

So, there ya go, that's what we've been thinking about:) Secret's out!

What's Been Going On...

Well, the first thing is that our computer crashed, and we're in the process of *hopefully* recovering everything (pictures, videos, business paperwork, etc!) off of it! We have a new computer, a Mac, which Lyndon is thrilled about...and I'm slowly learning how to use:) So, I haven't been on the internet much, and we'll say that's one of the major reasons it's been so long since an update;) Also, I have no pictures on this computer yet (we just set it up last night), so hopefully soon I'll be able to post pics.

The MAJOR thing that has happened in our household lately is that Kallie Paige is COMPLETELY potty-trained! We started the first week of August, and w/in a week and a half, we were totally done! I've been talking to a lot of parents about it lately, and it seems that we had a somewhat rare p/t experience. Kallie had about 4 accidents in the first week of training, and since then, hasn't had one. About a week ago we started taking her out in just panties (no pull-up, she always kept it dry but we were paranoid) and she's still accident free. I don't ever have to ask her or check...no matter what she's doing, playing, eating, swimming, she'll come up to me and tell me she has to pee. Or at home, she just goes all by herself, half the time without us even knowing! She goes poop on the potty too, at first it was with a little hesitance, but now it's just as easy as her going pee! I'm very thankful it was this easy...I can tend to be a bit lazy when it comes to stuff like this, and so it was really great that we didn't have to work that hard at it:)

I know she might still regress, but for the time being it seems to be cemented, and she has a good 3 months before baby comes to make it even more permanent, so right now we're celebrating!!!:)

Other news with us:

Baby is doing GREAT:) So incredibly active, and I just love it! Anytime I rest, even if just for a couple of minutes, I'm completely entertained by wiggles, kicks and turns:) I just love having a baby in there!

I spent the weekend a couple of weeks ago in Kamloops B.C. with my mom's side of the family, celebrating my Grandpa. He passed away in early July, and we had a memorial for him in Kamloops. It was an amazing weekend filled with family and memories. I'll be doing a post about my Grandpa and the weekend later, but I want to add pictures, so I have to wait:)

Lyndon and I are celebrating 5 years of marriage this Friday:)! I can't believe how fast time flies by! My sister is also coming to visit this weekend, so we're seizing the opportunity and leaving Kallie with her auntie Dana Saturday night for us to go to dinner and a movie:) And then our big celebration is a trip to Milwaukee later this month with friends of ours, to see the 'Kings of Leon' concert! We're both SO excited! They're one of our favourite bands (which is very rare for us to agree on music;), and we're leaving Kallie with her Oma and Opa from Thursday to Sunday, for a child-free weekend before we're a family of four:) We'll be stopping in Minneapolis along the way, so I'm looking forward to some good shopping too:)

Lyndon has been working like crazy lately, so we haven't seen much of each other. It's that time of year for carpenters:) We're both really looking forward to having a date this weekend, and I'm so glad we're going away for those few days so he can have a real break!

Summer is over! I'm back to full-time daycare, which on day two is already proving to be a bit exhausting, but I think once we all get into the swing of things, it'll be a lot easier!

I think that's all, hope you've had a great summer!!!

Baby Update!!!

We had our first ultrasound a week and a half ago, and it went great:)! Baby was facing in, so they couldn't get a good shot of the heart, but they could see everything else, and it looked perfect! Baby's measuring a bit big (but still in the 'normal' range), but Lyndon and I expect no less considering we're not the smallest people;) Kallie was a nine pounder...I'm sure her sibling will follow suit:)

Because they didn't get a good shot of the heart, we had a second ultrasound re-scheduled for today, which I was excited about...I love getting to see our baby so much:) Where we got our ultrasound done has a 3D ultrasound machine, so we got some amazing pictures of baby's face! It made me cry...so beautiful to see our little baby in there!:)


I've been feeling a bit better lately, but still not myself. My mom's been in town all week, which has been a HUGE help! She's folded every piece of clothing we own, cleaned and cleaned and cleaned some more, and of course, spent lots of time with Kallie! Thanks so much mom, it means so much to me to have you here, I love you! And my dad arrives today, so I'm looking forward to a great weekend filled with lots of family fun:)

Baby is SUPER active! Kallie wasn't very active at all, but this one is just constantly wiggling around in there. It's really fun:) Lyndon has felt the baby move once, but it's still mostly deeper down so only I can feel it.

I can't wait to meet our little one! Thank goodness we're over half-way there!

Encouraged

I don't like using the blog as a complaining outlet...so I'll be brief with the first part of this post.

I've been having a rough time. Because I am really sick throughout my whole pregnancy, I don't experience that 'great' second trimester (in either pregnancy) where you apparently have more energy and feel better. And I know I'm not the only one this happens to...but that doesn't really make it any better;) So for me, these are nine long months of feeling like garbaggio on a daily basis. I hit a wall a few weeks ago where I fell apart, and after talking to my dietitian last week, realized I've been in a bit of a depression because of it. One of the biggest things I struggle with is forgetting that I'm NOT ACTUALLY LIKE THIS!!! I WILL BE NORMAL AGAIN!!! I'm not lazy and exhausted all the time, and I don't normally want to cry just b/c the dishwasher has to be unloaded:)

SO...last week, I got a huge blessing! I woke up Thursday morning, feeling FANTASTIC! Like, completely normal! No nausea, no fatigue, no sadness or anxiety (something else I sometimes struggle with in pregnancy)! I had a completely productive day, did all my paperwork for daycare that had been weighing me down and overwhelming me, made a delicious dinner (if I do say so myself;), and was just able to enjoy my day. It was exactly what I needed, not only to get stuff done, but as a real reminder of how I will be able to function in 20 weeks from now (minus sleep deprivation;). I was so thankful for that day! (and posted it on my FB status:)

I woke up Friday not feeling as good physically, but still being in better spirits. And then I received this message from one of my best friends:

Subject line: God is GOOD

Hey Lauren,

I just felt really compelled to write you today and let you know how GREAT God is. I was so excited yesterday when I read that you had had such a great day and had felt SO good and I wanted to let you know that yesterday morning I had prayed a really specific prayer for you asking God to give you a great day yesterday, that you would not feel sick or anxious or tired but that you would feel great and really have a chance to enjoy your pregnancy with no worries and I am SO glad that God answered. It just reveals to me once again how much He cares for us and loves us and hears our prayers and answers them. I hope you are continuing to have a great day today and that you are able to enjoy the weekend with your family as well.

Love you and miss you.
Kat

Isn't that AWESOME!?!?! Kat is a total prayer warrior, and I'm very thankful to have such an amazing friend:) And an amazing God who answers those prayers! I am human, and my illness in pregnancy is something I have to deal with, but God won't give me more than I can handle, and gave me that day at exactly the right time!

So, I'm encouraged!:) Each day since is looking better!!!

Hope you have a great weekend!

No Pictures--I'm LAME!

So, I've decided I'm the worst documenter (not a word, I know) when it comes to PICTURES!!! I don't take nearly enough, and I'm not totally sure why. Laziness? Dislike? Not a good photographer? Probably a combination of all these plus some others. So, sigh, no pictures with this post, even though we had a great Canada Day with family and friends, and some great photo ops. Oh well.

So, life has been normal around here. Daycare is slowing down for me now, with the summer holidays. Which is quite nice:) And it was great having a day off in the middle of the week! We had friends over for a yummy potluck lunch (which lasted about 4 hours...GREAT visiting!), and then had a BBQ with Lyndon's family in the evening to celebrate Canada Day and an auntie's birthday. Kallie has SO much fun with her cousins and it's just awesome spending time with so much family. Both of Lyndon's parents come from really big families, and a lot of them live here. We had a blast visiting, eating, jumping on the trampoline (well, Kallie did...she's a little obsessed:), and just spending time with family.

We were supposed to head over to Lyndon's parent's new house to watch the fireworks that night (they have an AMAZING view of Lake Superior and the Marina where the fireworks were), but Kallie ended up crashing before nine, so I stayed home with her. Turned out to be a good thing, b/c I was out by 9:30:) And getting up the next morning was STILL tough...pretty sure I would've just died if I'd been out past midnight;) Having said that though, I am disappointed that I missed more visiting and hanging out, Lyndon said it was a really great time!

We have a super jam-packed weekend planned, which should be lots of fun:)

Tonight we're going over to our friends for dinner and to have a fire in their backyard, visit, and the boys are going to work on their precious kayak:) Then Saturday morning we're meeting friends for breakfast, going to the Farmer's Market, and then Saturday afternoon we're heading down to Grand Marais with lots of family and friends for the 4th of July festivities and fireworks (I think that was the most words starting with 'f' I've ever written in a sentence;).

Sunday morning Lyndon, Kallie and I are heading out to Duluth, where we'll most likely meet up with my friend Laura and her family, and also have a mini-family vacation for the day. We're staying overnight in Duluth, and then Lyndon and Kallie are dropping me off at the airport there at 4 AM!!! to catch a plane to Colorado Springs! I'm going to visit my best friend from middle/high school, who was also one of the maids of honour (along with my sister) at our wedding. We haven't seen each other SINCE THEN (almost 5 years!) so I'm extremely excited to be spending a whole week with her! Oh, and did I mention I'm going BY MYSELF!!?!?!?! I'm very much looking forward to time to myself, but honestly, slightly terrified that I will miss Kallie so much it'll be a little unbearable. Ok, dramatic, yes. But moms, you know what I'm talking about! A full week away from your munchkin...that's a LONG time! I know Kallie will be in great hands between Lyndon and his mom here...she probably won't even notice I'm gone (not true, but I'm telling myself that:) She loves being with her Oma and Daddy so much, and both of them are SO excited about having her all to themselves for the week, that I'm sure everything will go great.

So that's what's happening with us...I get back next Saturday, I'm taking my camera, so I'm going to work on the picture-taking thing!

Have a great weekend!